I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
