She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
