I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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