Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
It's just like the Real World with babies
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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