Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
