ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
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