I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize
