You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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