For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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