he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize