Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
