he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
