Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize