pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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