The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
