The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
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