How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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