I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize