It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I just want nice things and good sex
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
