he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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