guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Randomize
