I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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