I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You ruined the universe
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
