Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Randomize
