Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
