Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
