I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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