I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
