She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
