if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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