I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
