So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
