Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
In other news, I just burned my penis
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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