Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
