Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
