Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Randomize
