nut hugger
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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