i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
