I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
