I need help removing her.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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