Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
love makes seman taste better
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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