What a fucking waste of an outfit
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Just invented taco cereal.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
