they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
