he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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