I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
