Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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