I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
