used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
