I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
