I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
