it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
