just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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