Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
