He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
