none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
