Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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