I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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