she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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