Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize