What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
