im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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