I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
